Sunday, November 2, 2008

The Bottom 40: Worst Songs of the 80's

This week has been New Wave Week on Rock Revival, where we have focussed on the good side of things (Gary Numan, Blondie, The Normal, etc), but this decade obviously also produced the worst music that has ever been heard on the planet.

Bubble Gum pop in the 50's, for example, was pretty enjoyable, fake psychedelia in the 60's was fine. Even MOR in the 70's could be tolerated. But what about the "songs" below !

1 Beach Boys "Kokomo"
2 Twisted Sister "Leader Of The Pack"
3 Donny Osmond "Soldier Of Love"
4 Winger "Purple Haze"
5 Billy Ocean "Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car"
6 Tiffany "I Saw Him Standing There"
7 Bruce Willis "Respect Yourself"
8 Rick Astley "Never Gonna Give You Up"
9 Patrick Swayze "She's Like The Wind"
10 Accept "B__s To The Wall"
11 Menudo "Hold Me"
12 The Weather Girls "It's Raining Men"
13 Bill Withers featuring Grover Washington Jr. "Just The Two Of Us"
14 New Kids On The Block "Hangin' Tough"
15 Don Johnson "Heartbeat"
16 Taco "Puttin' On The Ritz"
17 Air Supply "All Out Of Love"
18 Steve Perry "Oh Sherrie"
19 Katrina & The Waves "Walking On Sunshine"
20 Whitney Houston "The Greatest Love Of All"
21 Lipps Inc. "Funky Town"
22 Micheal Sembello "Maniac"
23 Chicago "You're The Inspiration"
24 Michael McDonald "I Keep Forgettin' (Everythime You're Near)"
25 Randy Newman "I Love LA"
26 Kenny Loggins "Danger Zone"
27 Stryper "Honestly"
28 Pointer Sisters "I'm So Excited"
29 Miami Sound Machine "Conga"
30 Eddie Murphy "Party All The Time"
31Christopher Cross "Arthur's Theme"
32 Cher "If I Could Turn Back Time"
33 Paul Lekakis "Boom Boom (Let's Go Back To My Room)"
34 Dionne Warwick & Friends "That's What Friends Are For"
35 Milli Vanilli "Girl You Know It's True"
36 Billy Joel We Didnt Start the Fire
37 Queen Another One Bites The Dust
38 Mr. Mister Broken Wings
39 Eddie Rabbitt I Love a Rainy Night
40 Cutting Crew Died in Your Arms


Anonymous said...

Gee Paul, how does Billy Joel's song 'We Start the Fire' go? Guess I must have missed that one. Thanks for your personal shit list, but your subjective opinions don't mean shit to anyone else. And Billy Joel's other song - you know - 'We DIDN'T Start the Fire' is a much better written list.

paul said...

gee chillax alittle man, its only a bit of fun;

Jeff said...

Wow... Anon most be a little obsessive over Joel! I think the song sucks too. Anyway, I would say my most hated song of the 80s would have to be "Love Shack" by the B-52s. And I'm not sure if you ever heard it, but I used to love the Muppets version of "Kokomo" back in the day.

Anonymous said...

Nice. But really, how could you possibly have overlooked such gems as "Mickey" and "Don't Worry, Be Happy"?

Anonymous said...

For "we didn't start the fire" being a shitty song, it sure was quite the hit among teachers in the US as a wonderful teaching tool for learning some of the major events that spanned approximately half a century.

Anonymous said...

You must have had some seriously lazy teachers. All that song is is a list of things and a chorus that states that he wasn't there. That's a 'teaching tool'? I guess the intellect of the students was probably a consideration

Anonymous said...

My 11th grade history/civics teacher used that song "We Didn't Start the Fire") as a teaching tool; imagine completing that assignment without the internet! It did work well--it was a fun task and I remember rough details of each and every subject in the song. I liked it then, but 20+ years later I absolutely LOATHE the pregnant-wife-beating, child bride-marrying Joel; not only is he a domestic abuser his music (IMO) is TRASH.

I must disagree about "Another One Bites the Dust". GREAT song, great album ("The Game"), AWESOME band. I love, love LOVE Queen!!!!!
---Another Anon, in CA

Anonymous said...

"Funkytown" by Lipps Inc. was released in 1979. I remember distinctly--I owned the 45 (single).
I hate, hate HATE Katrina and the Waves, and every Kenny Loggins song I've ever heard...with the possible exception of "I'm Alright" because it reminds me of "Caddyshack".
--Anon in CA again (Gena)